Perhaps we perceive people as setting out to hurt our feelings but what’s really happening is everything to do our reaction to what they’ve said, what’s going on within ourselves as a result, how we are reacting within our body. We probably don’t even think about stopping, to think about what we’re doing with ourselves, we just go ahead, in habitual autopilot.
However, there is another way. Stopping to observe ourselves in the moment ahead of reacting in our habitual manner may well provide us with some useful insight. How is your body feeling? No doubt if you’re upset or angry, then you’ll be tightening and shortening in all manner of ways. Stopping allows us the time to observe, to notice, indeed to inhibit, not concerning us with the source of our reaction, but rather with our own. This is an important point to remember. FM writes at great length about faulty sensory appreciation, reminding us that peoples’ habits are not based on reason, but rather than on the incorrect thinking behind the feelings they have. By taking Alexander Technique lessons, they too may well discover they are doing similar things, only individual to them, if they are curious enough, they will discover things about themselves which can in fact be changed, if they are willing to learn how to stop and to observe. This takes a lot of observation of oneself with a teacher and during one’s daily life.
What I did to myself is in the past, not in the present or the future. Knowing that I shortened and narrowed myself reminds me even more daily about how I’m still continuing to learn how to prevent it and to take care of myself in the best way I know. Also to allow myself to nurture myself and grow, learning to observe and listen to what is as it is in this moment.